Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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