There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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