no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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