i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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