Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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