I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
