I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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