Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize