In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
