no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
The ass gains better be worth it
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