Plan B is the new Plan A
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
