shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
