bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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