So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
