Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
