Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
