3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
