the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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