I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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