what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
