if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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