What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
