i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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