So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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