My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
