Banned from zoo.
Again?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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