I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize