arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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