Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
