Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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