I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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