apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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