You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
