dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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