alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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