if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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