big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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