Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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