how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize