Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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