i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
