All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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