how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
