Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
