I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize