You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
