Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
