Me. At least after what I've been through.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
try to milk me bitch
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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