She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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