bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
