That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
