I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
