I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
