im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
