I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
