Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
