You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
