I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize