I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
